A poem about the complicated world of helping people (as a volunteer) and how one can struggle with emotions as you enjoy your time, but also questioning whether you came with the right intentions and or if your actions do more harm than good. I also touch on the constant depression (trauma) and hopelessness that is present underneath the surface for the people you are working with, even if they seem content or happy.
One of the best times of my life
and the worst of theirs
the time not in their possession even
lost in the wind that blew
turned everything upside down
they smiled while I shed tears
orange vests in numbers
some sought that thrill
an adventure or a trip
how lucky we are
just purchase your wings
ability to fly
identity unknown
fill in some papers to prove you are alive
do they not exist?
behind the label there is nothing of the sort
came along for the ride
said goodbye, but not really
stuck between worlds
I do not understand
stuck between words
nothing I can say
yet there we all are
speaking a language we know
is it enough?
the future tells a story of the past
good intentions do not predict
a positive outcome for you perhaps
who did you come here for? photographs
you go home richer questioning why
there is power in gratitude
some of the best times of whose lives
mine, ours, yours, theirs,
some of the worst
or is it? selfishly partly
mind yourself
happiness in misery
depression in laughter
there are so many sides
yin yang plus minus
try to keep a balance
life, the best or the worst
still undecided
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